


Moondust

by levxx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, idk imma stop talking now, insp came from the song moondust. tho there's little relation, it being old also means my writing FUCKINF SUCKS. still does but that irrelevant, keith is also lowkey trans but i made it minor uwu cuz uh that's not the point of the fic, keith is sad :(, lance is a good boy. the Best Boy in fact, so bear with me with the canon stuff we didn't know back then, tbh i hate voltron now but uh imma post this anyway, this is old. like Old. this was written before s2, this isn't exactly klance but could be viewed like that, warning: self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levxx/pseuds/levxx
Summary: it's hard having no one who loves you as much as you love them. keith knows this better than anyone.





	Moondust

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for my bud, jay. so, jay, if u out there, i love u!

It had happened again. _Alone, again._ Keith huffed loudly and turned onto his side, pressing his pillow ever tighter against his chest. Thinking rationally, why was he even surprised; he had always known he was the outcast of the group. He had had Shiro for a time, sure, but the universe seemed to have a strange affinity for ripping him out of Keith’s life. Besides, it wasn't like him and Allura were all that inconspicuous, he knew that sooner or later his place as “Shiro’s Best Bud” was going to be filled by someone else. Yet, not a single complaint could find itself in the boy’s mouth. It was his fault, after all. For a person who wished only to be left well enough alone, he sure begged for people to stay a lot. God, he was an idiot. A stupid, ugly, worthless idiot.

When Shiro had left, he had hoped that, maybe, Lance could fill the gap that Shiro had left behind. They weren't all that close. Hell, Keith wouldn't hesitate to say that sometimes he hated the other boy. Didn't change the fact that he cared about Lance, though. There was something in his face, beyond all the false hope and confidence, something that was scared. Something Keith felt in his own face. The familiarity was comforting, maybe he wasn't alone.

Reality had hit him like a stone wall, however. Feelings of dread bloomed against his ribs and weakened his legs. _Man, I’m such a fucking idiot!_

The three of them had always been close, it's what made him cling to Shiro as much as he did. Every moment they spent together, you just felt it, they were family. Screw blood. Blood doesn't determine family, and it's bullshit to think otherwise. They supported each other and laughed and had everything Keith didn't. In the past, he might have felt jealous, resenting them for that closeness, but he couldn't. Whether he was willing to admit to it or not, he cared. Cold exterior, sharpened guard, vague speech, none of it meant anything; he cared. But, there wasn't any room for a new addition, it was clear as crystal. It didn't matter if he cared, they didn't need him anyway. _Lance didn't need him._

Tears pricked at his eyes. _Such a fucking baby! Just shut up!_ He clasped at his ears, willing the screaming to just go away. Burning smoldered in his throat and crept up his arms. _Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God._ He clawed at his arms, trying to scratch the feeling away, but only serving to fuel it. Blood pooled in the the shallow cuts that now lined his arms and he reveled in the feeling. _Disgusting!_ Snapping his eyes shut and gripping his covers in his hands, he slowly tried to calm his breathing. Nothing could come out of hurting himself, he thought he'd learned that the last time.

_The last time._ His body fell silent and he could feel sadness pressing on his chest again. What would Shiro think? He could practically see the disappointment on the elder’s face, the one he always got when he caught Keith at the sink, hiding his arms and just a bit paler than he should have been. A crease would form between his eyebrows and he'd bite the inside of his cheek, only to break out in a sad smile and gently lead Keith into his room to treat his wounds properly. Keith never wanted to leave that room. Pictures of Matt and him goofing around littered the walls and the covers were always undone in the most organized way, as if he purposely arranged them that way. And the smell. Tears welled in Keith’s eyes again. _It smelled like home._

Between all his training and worrying, Shiro’s room on the ship had never acquired that feeling. Maybe if it had, Keith wouldn't be in this place. Although, at the same time, he got the tugging feeling that maybe it had, he wouldn't be here. Memories weren't always the most welcome thing.

Keith sighed and covered his eyes. He had always hoped that maybe he could grow past depending on Shiro, that he could open his damn mouth and socialize. It never came, though. His mouth was just as glued shut and his throat just as clogged with anxiety.

His hand fumbled at his side, searching intently for his discarded belt. He had always just used his shaving razor, but his knife was just going to have to do. Besides, he wasn't the same person as the last time. This time, he wasn't scared of what turning it up a notch meant. Who cared what happened to him?

Smooth leather met his hand and he could feel his breath hitch in his chest. _Don't you go wimping out now, you wuss!_ He sat up quickly, unsheathing it and rolled up his shorts so his thigh was exposed. Metal bit into his skin and he let out a pleasured hiss. Some sick part of him, one he could never admit to outside of these moments, loved this sort of pain. He pressed the blade against his leg again and closed his eyes in contentment. He was finally getting what he deserved.

Keith didn't know how deep the cuts he had laid on himself were, but by the amount of browning blood that his sheets now sported, he knew they were more than just scratches. A short wave of panic crashed on Keith. How was he going to wash his laundry without the others noticing the discoloration? He shook his head. _Don't be an idiot, Keith. You stain the sheets in your sleep all the time._

The door slammed open, causing Keith to jolt out his bed to hide the evidence of what he had done. Black dots spotted his vision. _Shit. Just how much blood did I lose?_ He could feel blood dripping down his legs to the floor. Keith could tell that the perpetrator was speaking to him, but his ears were roaring too loud with panic to translate what they were saying. His consciousness was slipping quickly and he knew it. 

Lance caught Keith before he hit the ground and taking a look at the dark liquid at their feet, rushed the boy to the princess before he bled out.

——

Keith was surprisingly warm as he woke up. He didn't remember much of how he got to be sleeping, but by the feeling of bandages wrapped around his thighs, he had an idea. Groaning loudly, Keith slowly opened his eyes. He hissed at the sudden change in brightness and covered them with the back of his hand. He froze. _There's something next me. No, not just that, **holding** me, I saw it. _ Anxiety flooded his stomach as he peeled his eyes to see what had him in its grasp. 

His eyes were met with smooth, tan skin and sleeping face. It took all of Keith’s strength not to push Lance off him right then and there. What was he doing it Keith’s room?! Or… maybe not his room. He took a good look at his surroundings. The room was bright and covered in flowers Keith had never seen in his life. _These can't be from Earth._ He tentatively stuck a finger out to touch on the the bright purple petals. It was soft as silk and very hairy. Amusement edged it's way up his throat and he let out a hearty laugh. Why he was laughing, Keith wasn't all that sure, something about this room made him feel warm. It was lived in. 

Keith turned his eyes to Lance, who was still snoozing away and practically spooning the former. It felt awkward, that was for sure, but Keith definitely wouldn't have placed it as feeling _bad_ per se. In fact, he kind of enjoyed the feeling of the other boy against him.

He stayed like that awhile, just bathing in the closeness of Lance. Funny how all this time, Keith had pushed everyone's physical attempts away with the assumption they were just pitying him and that he didn't even want them to touch him in the first place. Reality was telling him differently right now. Keith would have given anything to never have to move out of this position. 

Lance’s eyes flickered open and a smile crept onto his face as he noticed Keith staring at him. His mouth bobbed open as to speak, but he closed it and instead just kept staring at the other, for which Keith was grateful. He wasn't sure he was ready for the questions the would no doubt ask.

Lance trapped Keith’s face in between his hands and lightly squeezed his face. Letting out a breath to steady himself, Lance started to move his lips. Keith froze and moved out of Lance’s grip, only to be pulled back into the embrace. 

**“Never forget I’m here, okay?”**

A smile crept its way onto Keith’s face and he snuggled his head into Lance’s chest. _Man, I really was an idiot. I was never alone, just stupid._

**“Yeah.”**

**Author's Note:**

> sucks, right? whoops.


End file.
